WHEN I FALL IN LOVE

A tryout cover on Nat King Cole's "when i fall in love"

dedicated to the person who I fell in love with.

MY KIND OF DISTANCE LOVE

"whenever there is love, odds will be in our favor." 

I used to have this in mind, a strong belief to hold especially when my partner's love is some sort the best I get so far. Let me call this person as Bee. Bee is my partner, a person that loves me more than myself. We set goals for our future and we work hard to get close to these goals even when we are separated into two different spots on earth. We visualized the future that we will have by the time I'm back to my home country and always get excited when we talk about building our very own 'love nest'.

As I remember the time when we got together, our friends thought that we were crazy. They thought that separating a month after we got attached was irrational and at a bad timing since I will be away for 2 years. The bond of Bee and myself will become an obstacle for me to fully experience my life in this new environment, they said. Some claimed that "this kind of relationship will never work", but all these negative comments didn't stop us from holding our beliefs.

It's been 2 months since our last meeting in the airport. Different timezone became a problem where we experienced an inverse proportional of day and night. We never share the same time to get into bed, nor having meals at the same time. We started to get busy with our own life by ourselves. Bee became very busy with work, co-curricular activities and interviews for new job, and myself were working on my studios and dissertation from time to time. We started to spend lesser time on our conversation and video calls since we don't have much free hours at the same time. 

We shared stuff around us to each other from time to time by sending pictures, encouraging quotes, selfies and a lot more other stuff like an ordinary couple would do. Though some stuff became unnecessary to share with Bee when the right timing has passed, or something that I thought Bee might never bother to know. It gets complicated when we talk less, and  a lot of misunderstandings of what we did and said to each other which lead to war of words. 

Thinking back of all the bitter sweet we been through, I suppose love is the only thing that Bee and I believed in and to hold as long as we can. Bee claimed that I have been thinking negatively nowadays whenever I shared my feelings and my emotions. Even though I don't believe what Bee told me, but I understand why Bee said that to me. It is hard for a student and a working adult to fully aware about each other's situation and things we need to handle over time. Sadly, we are still working hard to achieve greater level of understanding about each other, to build stronger trust and faith in our relationship and turning those odds into our love nest's fertilizer. I willing to do anything that Bee wants from me, to the point that this little insect will always be happy, blessed and peaceful by my side (although it stings painfully sometimes)

The journey of a long distanced relationship continues... Let's hope it is a beginning of something great.

与守护者的 第100天

晚上的宁静总会让自己沉思在思念你的情绪当中。今天刚满100天。日夜奔波的你，我想你应该不会像我这么无聊去计算这个。

最近你比较繁忙，像是拥有百臂般在同时间处理很多事情。难怪你有点变了。

这几个星期里，你说了一些你以前不会说的话。这些话有些带着情绪，说不着的感觉让我不安。可能是自己越来越在乎你说的话吧，还是自己对语言的敏锐度变强了？我承认我有自己的担忧。最近开始怕打扰你，有些原本想和你分享的东西也变得可有可无的感觉。

晚上，早上；早上，晚上。我们适应了这种沟通方式：晚上睡前等着和你说早安，下课后再祝你睡个好觉。想你的时候，就看着那本图册，或是用手机看看我们的合照。有时候也会播放你认真弹琴的短片，沉醉在那些你为我弹奏的旋律。

无论如何，我愿意为了你经历这一切，虽然还有好久才能再度拥抱你。对你的信心是有的，只是心里还是存在着一种莫名的恐惧感。长距离恋爱尝起来还真的不简单。意志力要强，更得建设一分非常非常雄厚的信任。继续努力着......继续用力的爱你。