February 03, 2015


We had an undeniably harsh night yesterday. It was a tough night for me to withstand everything from Bee, at some point, in a difficult situation. Our conversation always started with something good, but then when it goes on, things got pretty bad and most of the time I didn't see them coming. 

My initial intention was to have a good chat with Bee over the phone, and I told Bee that I wish I could understand Bee better. I feel our hearts get little closer everytime when we speak to each other, it always feels great. Then, out of sudden, we bombarded each other with things in our mind which had been bothering us. 

Well, it is perhaps a process of a relationship, especially when two are having tough situations in terms of distance and time. Arguing is hurtful, but necessary. Because most of the time we understand each other better after a fight. We could see how he/she thinks, act, behave and most importantly, his/her use of words. I embraced things that Bee told me during the fight, because it shows how much Bee cares and how much Bee is willing to give on us. Whether they are right or wrong, they don't matter as much because no one understand the situation better then myself.

Back to the main points that we have discussed, Bee emphasized on me still being too pessimistic and always acted emotionally. Sometimes it was difficult to explain the whole picture to Bee over text, so I decided to keep quiet and just saying 'sorry', I am tired of explaining, and sometimes it doesn't work as much. To a point I agreed on what Bee had said to me, spreading bad things to your couple is bad, life has been tough, and they shouldn't come from their partner too. But then, does it mean we should only spread happiness and good things to our partner and leave the bad ones to ourself? As what I see couples should embrace the good and bad together. The emotions, the spiritual therapy, because to me, these are the most precious thing we could get from love, the care and being comforted.

In general, we know that we are always different in perception, thinking, and how we see things. Those are the differences of a baby boomer and a gen Y, a sales manager and a student. I have no clue of what I have been doing is right or wrong. Hoping for the best.

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