October 26, 2009

THE PRE-WAR SHOOTING Part 02

What a long time after the last post .. haha guys finally im here.

Gosh. Is been a long way self-preparation for the A2 exams. Everyone is nerd-ing at home, library, room, mcdonalds and so on. Im one of the nerd studying long way in the room.
Well, preparations seem not enough though. Lacking of time n diciplines. I had already planned myself well right after the last day of college. But, process seems to be kinda slow n unsteady.

Probably affected by several reasons. 1st, my condition of health i supposed.
It was way too painful when u see ur arms, body and other parts of the body covered with some rashes. Body temperature gone high sometimes stimulated from sore throat. Baby body is struggling with lacking of loves. Haha
2nd was my problem with family.
This is not really a problem, perhaps. 50% 50% for problem n motivations
frankly, last saturday was my most.. sad feelings ever. My mum called me at night and try to talk with me. But, i was stressed with maths n econs that time, when comes to something i was overheated like a mad cow. As so, i raised my voice to her until she..................... cried.
Right after i heard that. I was like.. broken heart. I don't know i can be such rude to her until she was so sad. I hate myself. After she said stop conversation sadly, i cried like mad. I cried because i cant believe myself i did something like tat to her. I cant forgive myself of being not understanding. I hate Leong Yean Tuck.
Well, i sms her to say sorry and tell her, this is actually our problem too. Something like this could happen just because we do not know each other well, i begged she never understand me in full as a 19 year old kid wants. She always put her pov on me but never apply to the real practice as a whole. Maybe she still eager to protect me from the community itself, whether the hurricanes or the volcanos. THIS IS WHAT A MOTHER SHOULD DO, BUT, OVERDOING WILL LEAD TO FAILURE. I always tell her about this.
Mum.. yeap i dont undestand u either. I dont know whats in your mind everytime u r telling me all the things u want, i do not know what makes the best for u. Everytime u nag me i was way too bored to hear that. I think u r obsolute and keep urself busy everytime. I dont understand why people's mum can be different as you. Dedicated too much in the housework, forgoten all the stuff that u should really do. I want you to be more relax, entertain urself better, dont always be too stressed and sleep late. You seems to keep the style you want and reject any suggestion. Im your son, im not your boss. I dont need you to clean my room, wash my clothes and take k everything of me ONLY. I want you to be happy and live more as for yourself too. Go salon, Go shopping, Go facial, Go gym, Go experience.
Mum.. sorry to be too straight on you. I just want you to know what im thinking this years, just to make life better. Mum, please, understand me. Vice versa
Sadness nite, i grown. I dont think i should be so straight to people instead keeping some proportion to be secret. Win Win situation looks better though.
Yet, to pay my apology. Im now taking vegetarian hoping God will forgive my mistakes.

A long way war is going to start this coming Wednesday. Despite all the unanticipated events, i still need to win the war. Breaking news: Lan n Wen Sheng is going to deferr eventhough A2 is still not started yet. I was shocked. She told me: I rather wasted 900 bucks than taking exams uncofidently.
Salute. This is what im thinking too. But i dont dare to waste another few Ks just because of my problems. Life still have to go on. I DONT CARE

2 comments:

♠ L.y.d.i.a ♥--๑•ิ.•ั๑ said...

hopefully ur relation with ur mum getting better yeah..there's always times like this. maybe the parents just are not ready to see, "hey..ur children are adults like u as well.." sometimes they're over protective..but maybe next time u'll do the same to ur children..haha..

good luck for the exams though..mph will be colder than winter

TUCK said...

yeap.. just like malaysia protect proton.. TOO MUCH until cannot expand..
i dont want become proton saga !
HAHA
btw i think nothing dy lur.. she just called me today n we r chat like normal.. haha.. happy..
4 more days to go for veggie.. after tat order pizza eat gau gau XD

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