WHEN I FALL IN LOVE

A tryout cover on Nat King Cole's "when i fall in love"

dedicated to the person who I fell in love with.

MY KIND OF DISTANCE LOVE

"whenever there is love, odds will be in our favor." 

I used to have this in mind, a strong belief to hold especially when my partner's love is some sort the best I get so far. Let me call this person as Bee. Bee is my partner, a person that loves me more than myself. We set goals for our future and we work hard to get close to these goals even when we are separated into two different spots on earth. We visualized the future that we will have by the time I'm back to my home country and always get excited when we talk about building our very own 'love nest'.

As I remember the time when we got together, our friends thought that we were crazy. They thought that separating a month after we got attached was irrational and at a bad timing since I will be away for 2 years. The bond of Bee and myself will become an obstacle for me to fully experience my life in this new environment, they said. Some claimed that "this kind of relationship will never work", but all these negative comments didn't stop us from holding our beliefs.

It's been 2 months since our last meeting in the airport. Different timezone became a problem where we experienced an inverse proportional of day and night. We never share the same time to get into bed, nor having meals at the same time. We started to get busy with our own life by ourselves. Bee became very busy with work, co-curricular activities and interviews for new job, and myself were working on my studios and dissertation from time to time. We started to spend lesser time on our conversation and video calls since we don't have much free hours at the same time. 

We shared stuff around us to each other from time to time by sending pictures, encouraging quotes, selfies and a lot more other stuff like an ordinary couple would do. Though some stuff became unnecessary to share with Bee when the right timing has passed, or something that I thought Bee might never bother to know. It gets complicated when we talk less, and  a lot of misunderstandings of what we did and said to each other which lead to war of words. 

Thinking back of all the bitter sweet we been through, I suppose love is the only thing that Bee and I believed in and to hold as long as we can. Bee claimed that I have been thinking negatively nowadays whenever I shared my feelings and my emotions. Even though I don't believe what Bee told me, but I understand why Bee said that to me. It is hard for a student and a working adult to fully aware about each other's situation and things we need to handle over time. Sadly, we are still working hard to achieve greater level of understanding about each other, to build stronger trust and faith in our relationship and turning those odds into our love nest's fertilizer. I willing to do anything that Bee wants from me, to the point that this little insect will always be happy, blessed and peaceful by my side (although it stings painfully sometimes)

The journey of a long distanced relationship continues... Let's hope it is a beginning of something great.

与守护者的 第100天

晚上的宁静总会让自己沉思在思念你的情绪当中。今天刚满100天。日夜奔波的你，我想你应该不会像我这么无聊去计算这个。

最近你比较繁忙，像是拥有百臂般在同时间处理很多事情。难怪你有点变了。

这几个星期里，你说了一些你以前不会说的话。这些话有些带着情绪，说不着的感觉让我不安。可能是自己越来越在乎你说的话吧，还是自己对语言的敏锐度变强了？我承认我有自己的担忧。最近开始怕打扰你，有些原本想和你分享的东西也变得可有可无的感觉。

晚上，早上；早上，晚上。我们适应了这种沟通方式：晚上睡前等着和你说早安，下课后再祝你睡个好觉。想你的时候，就看着那本图册，或是用手机看看我们的合照。有时候也会播放你认真弹琴的短片，沉醉在那些你为我弹奏的旋律。

无论如何，我愿意为了你经历这一切，虽然还有好久才能再度拥抱你。对你的信心是有的，只是心里还是存在着一种莫名的恐惧感。长距离恋爱尝起来还真的不简单。意志力要强，更得建设一分非常非常雄厚的信任。继续努力着......继续用力的爱你。

STUDYING MASTERS IN GLASGOW PRT 1

It's been a month in Glasgow, Scotland. Mum just reminded me in the morning about it when we had conversation on Wechat. Time flies so fast before I actually realized it. 

 The memories of the farewell at KLIA and the feeling of the first step walking out from the plane to the airport were still fresh, I was so proud of myself that I can made this far to travel, study, and enriching my experience in Europe. I was like, here I come! (breathe in). I think I have done quite a lot in the past 31 days. Most of the things are new to me, but thankfully i could adapt the culture here in a short period of time. I remembered the first trip that I made was to Kevingrove, where it was located at the West End, somewhere outside city centre. I was so excited to experience every little things like talking to strangers, find own food, look for place to go, and so on. 

I had three housemates, they are Jack from China, Ardi from Indonesia, and Mek from Thailand. They are duper friendly and we used to cook dinner together in our flat. We were so addicted in cooking especially stores like Aldi sells variety of meats, pre-cooked food and daily goods. I started to try and error different kinds of Chinese food which my mum used to cook for me back in Malaysia. So far, I learned fried rice, steam egg, soups, and some simple Chinese dishes. Probably more to come. Jack Ardi and Mek are students from the business faculty for a course period of one year. We are planning to go to the north such as Highland, Isle of Skye together at least once for the landscape over there.  

For my study, studio and dissertation are my main priority. I wish to do a better design and develop better thinking in spatial layout. So far, the tutors have been very helpful. Hospice is my first project, and second project is about designing a bathhouse. They are challenging, though, I find it interesting to explore. Dissertation is going on a right track now, according to my supervisor. I faced some problems at the beginning on defining a much focused title and research. Hopefully what I had chosen for my dissertation title will be helpful for me in the future. To balance up the study life, I continued my gym routine here with the fees of 96 GBP per year, which was so cheap. (if bluddy compare with CF)

Glasgow has been the furthest I have traveled so far in my life. It's lively, at the same time peaceful, and friendly city. A lot of shopping can be done, tonnes of museums to visit, and most importantly the landscapes. I have a few wish-to-go-places on my list which I hope I have chance to visit them when I am free from assignments. Lowest temperature was dropped to 1C and there is regularly strong wind around the centre. Primak became my favorite shopping place, and i tried getting a haircut at a barber for 8 GBP. Not too ugly lol. (People often said Asians can do better hair-styling, now i think their statements are credible)

Live. Experience. Work.

I could finalized my involvement in Glasgow for the past 1 month with these 3 words. Live: blending in myself in an unfamiliar context. Experience: exploring things like local food, great architecture, public transport, speaking slang and most crucially the weather. Work: spending enough time and effort on studies and side studies at the same time.

I believe things are gonna be better over time. This is just the beginning for my 2 years journey. Hope the weather goes manageable during winter,

Cheers!

与守护者的 第63天

在这两周里，

我开始熟悉这里的地理，文化，食物，公共交通，说话的语调等。最近常做的事情是与陌生人介绍自己的名字和祖国。结识了几位朋友，也适应着屋友的习惯。最有意思的就是自己烧饭吃，炒饭，煎蛋，煮菜，一点一点地学着做。慢慢地，将自己融入了这寒冷又热情的城市。

近几天开始吹冷风，时不时会下点细雨。学校开始上课，了解了这里的系统操作，学会了图书馆的列印和代书服务，也懂得哪里卖的午餐便宜好吃。走在道上开始少用手机，因为手指会被冷得发麻，只能把他们藏在口袋里。自己多买了一些厚衣裤，想要融入这里的时尚。

在这两周里，

我开始让自己心态上做转换，刚来的时候觉得自己像是在旅行，现在既要重整思想做回一个学生。慢慢地意识到自己离家人，离蜜蜂，离自己熟悉的家园是多么的远。好像好莱坞电影一样，那些要去打仗的美军挥别家乡几年去完成使命。庆幸的是，我还可以通过网路和身边的人保持联系，只是相隔了七个小时。

在这两周里，

我开始意识到在这里有的，只是自己。处事待人，都归自己负责。但生活上不算艰难，不孤单，多得守护者无私的关心，让我觉得还有一个人默默地在远方看顾着我，呵护我。每一天起床看到那封‘早安’信息，都觉得很欣慰。

接下来的日子免不了课业上所带来的忙，乱，慌。我只想一直努力，一直抱着那份执着，让我和你熬过这一段孤独的挑战。哪怕现实就在我们面前说着不可能，我也不想轻易放弃。

原因？

因为我也想当你的守护者。