Showing posts with label the past. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the past. Show all posts

May 17, 2026

小德你好,我从未来来看你了


小德啊,

我是30年以后的你。 喜欢科幻的你看到我应该不会太惊讶吧?
我想和你聊聊以后的我们。

现在的你在幼儿园里刚刚知道这个世界如何小运转。有阶级辈分,有处人处事的逻辑,自我意识挺强的。会对自己在意,对周围也比较敏感一点。观察力挺好,在保护自己和放开自己的交接点探索着,交了一些小伙伴。你可以去准备一本册子让他们留下一些信息,现在的我挺想见见他们的。记得有位印度姐姐和你很聊得来,但没记住名字。

明年开始的小学生活,你会经历转学和晋级班次的刺激,老爸开着摩多载你上课那迎风感,老妈早起送上火腿香肠早餐和那杯热牛奶的温度,你要好好体验哦。记得在学校等妈妈来接你的时候,你会认识一个老伯伯,在无比膏那办公室旁的走廊坐一起聊天。慈祥的老伯伯会和你聊人生和分享趣事,那是你第一次感受陌生人的人情味,直到现在我还仍然记得他的微笑和慰问。如果可以的话,你帮我记一下他的名字和住处,我想见见他。你会在小学的时候发光发热,几乎全校都认识你。可以的话,别让自己太嚣张,不然会做错一些事。四年级的代班李老师是一个很有爱心的女老师,可惜她只待了3个月,但你们会常常通信聊天,你很喜欢她的字体。五年级的主任吴老师是你的启蒙老师,也是你的第一个伯乐。直到现在我还有和她联系哦。我很欣慰你在小学时做了很多开心的事情,活跃的你是这30年里难得的真性情,只要尽情的感受身边每件事就好。对一些同学要好一点,别把自己看得太高,这点要记一下。

你的中学时期进了不错的班,只是学习有点吃力,但不用太给自己压力。你很喜欢图书馆一个人温习的感觉,可以提早去适应一下。那里的管理阿姨有点凶,但你会和她做朋友的。你应该不知道发育是什么吧?简单说就是慢慢变大人的过程,思想和身体会转变。你十三岁会用电脑找人聊天,聊一些自己搞不懂的事。电脑不懂是什么吧?它像一个藏在盒子里的老师一样,可以陪你玩,帮你处理事情。高一的时候你会遇上第一个自己爱的人,这个人会影响你好一段时间。你会开心,会痛,会不知所措。想提醒你要勇敢一点的爱,不要犹豫太多,这样你会留下少一点的遗憾,也多点让自己开心的事。你会有一班一起打球的兄弟,但要记得不要太走心,不然会伤害到自己,帮人也不用一直帮哦,要爱自己多一点。大姐会常对你说她不想要你当她的弟弟,我知道你会痛,希望你别往心里憋,长大后你会明白,做好自己就好。高二你会经历一个很大的人生考验,你会得到怪病,第一次感受脆弱。自己很痛,没自信,感觉自己像个怪物般活着。不用怕,真的不用怕。虽然这个考验会一生陪伴你,但你会好起来的。爸爸妈妈也很着急,他们也跟你一起痛,别怪他们做了一些不太好的决定。看看现在的我,是不是也活得好好的?还是可以很帅很酷的,当过怪物以后才会好好珍惜自己的身体,知道吗?

你在高中时候的大佬会和你分享上大学的事,你会去他就读的大学开始新的旅程。可能你习惯当哥哥了,所以把大佬化成你的小导师。你的大学之旅是一个非常重要的转折点。你会开始认真学习英文,学着融入吉隆坡那种大都市的生活,最后找到自己的位子。你会很开心很享受,但仍然被初恋影响着,没关系的。那些伤会结巴,也会让自己的感性变成熟,也学会尊重,共情,只是你会泡在里面一阵子。你也知道自己喜欢画画吧? 你以后选择了建筑系,有点辛苦,但你不会后悔。记得第一学期的时候你一直很努力,但就是做不对,做不好。没事的,很快你就探索到其中的奥妙了。现在的你可以试试让老妈买一点乐高给你玩,让你更早可以体会建东西的乐趣,好像还不赖。

出社会以后我就简单说吧。那时候的你做到真正摆脱初恋的枷锁,开始萌芽自己对爱的需求,渴望,给予施和受,会跌倒也学会爬起。你会开始为别人哭,也会为了另一半做很多连对自己都不会做的事。现在看回去都挺美好。而且会很多哦,你不要太密集哈哈。那个时候的你不太注意饮食,可以的话,去学会看食物的营养和成分,你会少一点对健康的无知。对了,你会有机会到英国留学,一个人在那么远的地方,经历成长和锻炼,拓宽自己的视野和维度,也做得挺好。你会觉得自己渺小,但又觉得自己充满无限可能。回国后接受社会洗礼,但不太会存钱。这点要好好提醒你一下,别觉得自己很有钱,让自己早学点钱的知识,你就会发现自己能做到的事情会更多。

到了30岁会有一个小小的革命。全世界换了一种运营模式,你开始为自己打工,也开始接触教育工作,成为别人的导师。像你现在的老师给予你爱一样被延续,像是一种时代的交接。你会在自己预设的未来中活着,也从一些事情中得到惊喜。

小德,你可能会问我;36岁的我是一个怎样的自己?我会告诉你,我还在成长当中。这对你来说可能很遥远,但这个时候我已经慢慢变成,我们想成为的大人了。我没有组织家庭,可能也不会有,也不着急,有爱的人就好。老爸老妈还在,他们老得挺快,每次回家你会心疼,在学习面对他们离去的那一天。你会慢慢发现这世界上,你最爱和最爱你的人,应该就只有你妈了。她现在还是一个大美人哦。可以的话,我也想去见见现在年轻,短发的她,和她说一些爱她的话。她常用藤便打你吧?哈哈,别太在意。是会疼,会哭,但现在回过头想,那种严厉的教导对你很有效哦,你成长的一部分是打出来的。现在你不明白这一点没关系,让她好好的调教你就好。现在的你还会抱抱她,但长大以后变少了。你爸也是。不过英国回来以后,我已经摆脱这所谓的尴尬,每次和他们道别的时候会抱抱他们。可以的话,现在的你记得多和他们说谢谢啊。爸虽然对你有时候很凶,但他最会买你要的东西给你了。那他也很贼,总是要用成绩来换游戏机,我怀疑是你妈教他的,哈哈。

小德,我不求你能记得全部这些事,但我想你多一点爱自己;这包括你自己的好和不好的地方。尤其是高一那场病的开始,别太自责。你会遇到几个很好的医生,慢慢把脆弱接住就可以了。它始终会慢慢变好的,知道吗?好了,很开心能够回来见见你。爸要来接你回家了,不要告诉其他人我来过哦,这是我们的小秘密。等下回家和狗狗玩以外,记得去做我拜托你的事情哦。可以慢慢来就好。

July 04, 2015

COMPLICATION





shitty feeling of letting the past running in my mind

December 27, 2014

ENDING OF 2014

It is funny because every time when I about to start writing my dissertation, I tend to practice my writing here in my blog. It's just like a warm-up for the brain, LOL. This is the day just after boxing day and Christmas in Glasgow. It was pretty calm, peaceful and cold. Though I have missed the celebration with my family and my loved one in Malaysia.


If you are a frequent visitor, you probably realized there's this live traffic feed, on the right bottom page of the blog, which tells the visitors and the post they have read. Surprisingly some posts of my 'war period' back in 2010 showed up so I read some of them. It is always hurtful to recall the past. But it is not always a bad thing, as it makes me even more stronger in person and appreciate things that I have right now, especially a healthy skin. 


Back during Christmas eve, me and my housemate Zhong Yi, two lonely guys (hahaha) cooked themselves dinner and enjoyed a great old movie 'Forrest Gump'. It's a movie back in 1994, narrating a guy who has a low IQ of 75 became a football star, survived a war in Vietnam, been to the white house a couple of times, playing international ping pong match in China, not to mention owning the Bubba Gump shrimp company. Everything just come simultaneously for him, and he survived. Most of us have trillions of things in our head to achieve, having many desires to be rich and famous. And yea, most of the time we never get any of it just because we are too desperate about it. I believe that this phenomenon of Forrest Gump could be credible in the reality. Most of all, I think his lovely mum is the best thing, probably the core energy that made him succeed in every situation he faced. Here's my favorite quote: 'Death is not the end, it's just another part of life'. 

So I guess this would be my last post of 2014 because I'm heading to London tomorrow till 2 January. 2014 has been a 'grow-up' phrase of my life, the obvious one is of course studying here in the UK, then knowledge and challenge I faced while working in DMP, love-affair-breakup moment, many first times (woops), and so on. Anyway, I had set my resolution 1 week ago, and I can't wait to achieve them all. Wishing everyone a good year ahead!

August 28, 2011

SCATTERED MEMORIES




It's a funny thing to do where you see yourself changing overtime. From the innocent-babyfat-face, into something 'older' like today. LOL. Nothing is more exciting than this.
Every pictures of the past reminds me of something meaningful that happened around me. Whether it was a tragedy, a fond memory or just a happy moment I had with friends.
I wonder whether I could remember all of em. But at least, i have most of them kept in this blog, even when those days without you, that somehow makes me moving forward.

choir- a big impact along my secondary school life.
district-state-national-international
hug samtet voices

March 18, 2010

REPEATED

Sorry guys was procastinating posts.. i was just not in the mood tonite to post stuff.. promise will be doing it in ipoh this weekend.

I was at my previous blog just now. n i was reading some post last time.
This shows up n it seems to be repeating now.

Wednesday, 17 December 2008
Tittle: YOU R SO unforgetable
This days.. i think i can be a better man than before .. ALMOST.

At least i wont be thinking of how to get your understanding and caring. THe days without u.. i was so relaxing than bfore.. which days i cant either noe what im actually doing .. for nothing..
LOVE IS BLIND
.....

NObody will noe who the hell is YOU. Daily Torns.
Sincerely, i m still keeping u in my heart anytime anywhere .. whenever i was stick to things about love. when i was listening love songs, watching drama, reading love articles, u will appear in my heart, the first thing that appear .. in my brain.
Dunno y. Mayb i m still waiting to have a chance to get on u. Sound silly. sound fragile. but.. how? when?
Even isit possible is still a big question mark.

YOU. i need courage n sacrifies to tell you im actually LIKE YOU!
cant u feel it since i noe u?
or u just ignore me like a very very very common fren.

haha..

haha..

I cannot forget u.. i tried .. i tried very hard.
everytime i saw ur pic, i heard yr name from ppl, i meet u accidentally..

I WILL START TO..

ACT.
haha..

haha..

hope u never noe...

u got such a big admirer.
dont worry,

i will let the time to wash me away from u.


It ends here. True i had that feeling back. Should i just put afford to forget u one more time?
I was such a jerk > <

September 05, 2009

IS TOWARDS THE END OF PRE-U

Once again to say: TIME FLIES LIKE NO BUDY BUSINESS
Is been a great time to studying in Taylors College. When people say A2 arround me, is shows yea, putting a full stop on Alevels soon. Suddenly think that, the last day of school before the A2 final, how will it gonna be to everyone? I think, it will be a heavy one to say GooDbyE
Hopefully can take pictures with all the people i know in the school, both students and lecturers.

Yea time always past too fast,
Let me think back the older times in Subang.
The 1st day arrived at Subang, seeking for Aunty Elaine house. Mother busy cleaning the room. Father was sleeping on my bed and my brother was helping me to pack my stuff.
The 1st day of school. I was arranged to a PE class. Im worried that i have gone to a wrong field, dont have frens arround me. Busy preparing documents to go in PB class.
The 1st day meeting PB6. 1st friend was Justin Ravi Choo. I dont know anyone yet. Blurr, helpless, and anti-smoker.
The 1st lunch together with PB6. Almost everyone is there at Noodles station having good meals and chat to know each other better.
The 1st test was given by Ms.Chian. A class test of econs mcq. I still remember that time she was putting up a big clock for us to see the time on the screen.
The 1st group assignment from LAN. We sing Unity Song togehter and pratice together. it was so fun and no ones in the group will forget this i think. And we get the highest score in the class.
The 1st good friend in Subang. She used to be the one who always sit together with me before i drop Accounting.
The 1st celebration of classmate birthday, Paey Yee and Da Wun at Mcdonald.
The 1st housemate, Kai Zia from Stiawan.

And now,
The last day- probably 09/10/09. Everything will come to the end. Our path will continue going on in own direction from the intersection point. It might not be intersect anymore. Some will go back to overseas, some continue in local and some move abroad.

Just wanna say, no friendship is forever linked. Tressure the moment of intersection.
Nevertheless, still wanna say:
FRIENDS FOEVER
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